I have no idea what a bed time is. Those who know me think I am an insomniac and well, they might be right but it could also be caffeine related.
Regardless, my attempt at proving everyone wrong means that I don’t tweet, internet or xbox live past a certain hour. But let’s be honest, that has “fail” written all over it and try as I might, it doesn’t happen.
More often than not, I find myself like a cartoon character in socks, slipping haphazardly all over the place, as I sprint to my room at the first signs of my roommate coming home. I do this partially because it’s fun to play a one-sided hide & seek game but moreso because I want her to think I keep semi-normal hours.
The remainder of my night will be spent divided between gawking over my camera (and dreaming about all the equipment I want) and allowing the illumination of my room to be sponsored by my gleaming laptop. In both cases, my body will be contorted into some awkward position where at least one of my limbs will fall asleep causing me to shift every ten minutes.
I imagine that if someone is bothered by the much-too-bright light and kept awake from all the lulz, web comics and kitten .gif’s, I would then have to continue to internet from underneath the covers of my pillow fort that I have oh-so-cautiously built around myself.
At some point, I will realize it’s 4 in the morning, tip-toe my way to the kitchen and make myself enough sleepytime tea that *should* put me inches away from death and just like that, I somehow remain the most awakest person ever.
I guess that doesn’t matter, for the internet does not sleep and neither do I.
To counteract my lack of sleep the next day, I opt for a morning cup of scorching hot coffee that I impatiently chug. In turn, I will, without a doubt burn my tongue and/or possibly my throat while muttering “esophageal cancer”.
Fifteen minutes later rainbows start shining out of my empty cup, my leg begins to shake even more uncontrollably than normal and I know that’s my cue to prepare for extreme productivity like the rest of the American world. Cue in my headphones & electronic dance music and I’ve totally got a rave party at my desk.
Bonus points will be awarded for the animation of inanimate objects.
Moral of the story: morning coffee is a vicious (yet delicious) cycle.